Winner of Modern India - Love or Caste?
Caste system in India seems to be one of the reasons behind breakdown of so many hearts. It shows that this system is a growing reason behind the decline of emotional well-being of today’s youth leading to suicides, revenge and other hazardous practices. Youth- the population, expected to be crucial in the growth of the States and the Country.
Caste system which was originally started for classifying people belonging to different professions, for today’s youth has turned out to be the blade that has driven deep scars across hearts and lives and is the poison that has split families…
Caste system has always been a curse on the nation. Earlier it was as cruel and inhumane as untouchablility and as the time moved on, Honour Killing is its modern times fad.
It leads to the heinous crime like HONOR killings; it is a sorry state of affairs that more than 1000 people every year are put to death in the name of Honor Killing, Inter-caste marriages being one of the most famous reasons behind these killings.
The barbaric practices like honour killing seem to utilize the term “honour” in the name of actions that are depraved, destructive, and profoundly immoral. By applying it in this way, the practioners of Honour Killing twist the meaning of the word “honour” to make it the driving force behind the acts of savagery and revenge, instead of the noble, dignified causes for which it is meant to stand. These are the sick population of the modern society, who need urgent psychological care. They need to be taught that human life is of utmost importance, and not the reputation of the caste.
This is what I heard from somebody, “I was raped; I didn’t want to have sex with him. He was the opposite of what I was. He was twice the size of me. And anyway they would not have let me return until I got pregnant anyway. I didn’t know him or met him before and he was not related to me, he was just from the right caste.”
It will not be incorrect to say that it is also the cause of declining trust of new generation in marriages. Not for the reason that they don’t want to get married, but for the reasons, rules and regulations, the institution of Marriage accompanies with it regarding who can carry marry who and who not.
The tyranny of caste in modern India creates endless suffering for many when the question of marriage arises. Family traditions, seemingly supported by religious custom, keep people of like mind and heart from marrying to avoid upsetting people.
You are “this” and he is “that”…splits apart many loving relationship which provide emotional and mental well-being to an individual and are built on the bond of Understanding, Compatibility, Mutual interest and most importantly readiness for adjustment with each other and for each other. Now what?
So many couples split up for escaping the complications, inter-caste marriages bring along with it, leading to emotional breakdowns, turning emotionally unavailable, feeling betrayed, loosing trust in relationships and so on.
What you see is a change in the ideas that young people hold- but they still may not be able to exercise these choices.
Question here is- Are inter-caste marriages not worth an effort?
Is it possible for anyone not to like, get attracted, understand, fall in love with someone, who is not of your Religion/Caste?
If there are no restrictions on inter-religion and inter-caste “friendships”, than why inter-religion and inter-caste marriages are not acceptable, or are accepted with so much reluctance?
This rigidity is an illness, and it will be in favor of the nation to cure this ailment as quick as possible.
A year or two back, even The Supreme Court held that inter-caste marriages are in “national interest” as a unifying factor in a nation where caste system is a “curse” and sooner it is destroyed, better it is.
The Supreme Court conveys that there is no bar on inter-caste and inter-religion marriages under the Hindu Marriage Act. Anyone who harasses, threatens or subjects such a couple to acts of violence will be prosecuted.
People should come forward and take advantage of these laws instead of escaping the situation. Though the reality remains that the work needs to be done in the grassroot levels, to change the cemented MINDSET created by the divided society of ours. It for sure is one of the toughest job, as irony is that people who oppose ‘reservations based on caste’ are the people who openly and proudly oppose any kind of caste mix in their family, but for sure the work to be done is much more worth an effort.
Nothing in the world can be more important than a human life
People need to learn interfaith, instead of opposing inter-caste. Probably never before the need for interfaith commitment has been nearly so great as it is at this very moment.
Promotion of Inter-caste marriages is the need of the nation, to build an emotionally, mentally and physically healthy society. People from all walks of life need to join hands and promote Inter-caste marriages. It is not to be forgotten that Education widens the territory of the mind and thoughts. The social mindset in which a person grows in has a lot to add up to the social objection. Something really needs to change in that part of the brain that it is basically all about adopting a person as our own and respecting the decision our own children have made. Therefore inter-caste, religion marriages are possible only with a change in mindsets. We say that the world has developed so much but progress is still a distant light at the end of the tunnel which can be reached only with the acceptance of intercaste marriage.
It’s time to understand, learn, teach and apply lessons of Equality.
And the best place to start is Home. It’s very natural that fighting with your own parents for the love of your life is terrible phase of life. It is actually not about society accepting an inter-caste marriage; it is deeply concerned about our families and friends supporting us. It is a very depressing and difficult phase of life when it comes to choosing between our own family and a person we decide to or want to make our family with.
Trying is worth an effort…effort for happiness of self, the significant other and also in long run for the growth of the nation.
Be prepared for the Discussion and anticipate their (parent’s) reasons and fears. They are your family, you know them the best. Be prepared with counterarguments for their reasons and fears. Never loose your Cool and Calm, know that it’s not an option if you are trying to convince someone for something. Go back to the basics and try to explain them the reasons why the caste system came into existence and that how in today’s world those reasons have lost their basis. Seek help from people you trust, may it be brother’s sister’s friends, relatives etc. It will be an achievement even if 50 out 100 of us can convenience our parents, which will provide us with hundreds of people more to teach and convenience, the inconvenienced ones.
In the times, where powerful psychological techniques like CBT and NLP are extensively used, prognosis is high for such matters. Remember, Love conquers all…
Government provides number of help and health centers for different issues in all parts of the nation, urban and rural included. It will be a great venture to provide knowledge, help and consultation for the promotion of inter-caste marriages. People can be taught and explained the benefits of inter-caste marriages. Everyone has the capability to learn and understand, we just need good, unbiased teachers to teach and explain. Work has to be done at primary school and infant school to tackle these attitudes as soon as possible. It needs to become part of the curriculum; it should be part of the citizenship agenda.
Not to forget Education widens the territory of the mind and thoughts….
I heard these words somewhere and today they echo in my mind at the right time….
Have you ever felt that unstoppable, yet unsatisfied urge to make a difference? To change your world as you knew it by changing someone else’s world as they know it? Then “MAKE A DIFFERENCE” is what you need to do... Welcome to the MAD MAD world…!!!
Cheers!!!
Sangeeta Semwal
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